my sickness seems to linger, unfortunately..
hopefully it will pass soon.

soooo in the mean time i make the best with what i have
less energy = more sleep
that is always a good thing i suppose.
trying to dig my way through homework
while feeling crappy is always an adventure..
you begin to pick and choose what 'really'
has to be done.. and you for go what might
not absolutely have to get done..
sad but true.

like now, focusing on homework?
ehhh that would be pretty hard.
but i'm going to try to
until of course i can't keep my eyes opened.

"Whether we are reading the Bible for the first time or standing in a field in Israel next to a historian and an archaeologist and a scholar, the Bible meets us where we are. That is what truth does" -Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

sooooo true.

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
Lamentations 3:22 (the message)

And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.
1 Corinthians 7:17 (the message)

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.
1 Corinthians 7:17 (the new living)

all these verses really hit me where i'm at right now..
God is faithful...
and his mercy is new every morning.
being content, knowing God has me where he wants me
and he will have me exactly where he wants me..
i trust Him, i know that he will lead me and take me
to where i belong.
worrying and fretting would be a waste of time
and under mind His authority
in my life...

I refuse to be like the Israelite in the wilderness
and attempt to 'create' and "make do plan' to rescue myself
to pull what Peter in Prince Caspian did
he decided he needed to take charge and make his own plans
instead of trusting Aslan.. and his plans..
his plans only caused death, hurt, and heartache..

I don't want to make my own plans..
I want God's plans.. i want what he wants.
i will wait, i pray and i wait.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.
Proverbs 3:5

waiting is in the bible a lot..
people often waited..
it wasn't always instant or when the demanded it
or even asked for it.. kindly or not
they often had to wait.. trust... and believe.
ironic how today we still don't want to wait
yet.. all through out the bible people had to wait
plenty of people were healed instantly things like that
but often God called people to wait..
didn't mean that God was saying no or not listening
he was testing, refining and stirring up their hearts.
my heart... he stirs up my heart in this way.
i'd rather wait and be stirred
than get what i want and learn nothing.

to that end, waiting is exhausting
.. that is why i must surrender.
surrendering what i'm waiting for
knowing that it is better in God's hands
than in my little brain.. or hands.
i am not a child screaming "i want that!"
i must wait.

I wait in hope
for your salvation, God.
Genesis 49:18

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31