waiting is very hard for me....
waiting on something that i know is going to happen is ok.
but waiting for an "unknown" is pretty difficult for me
perhaps its a control issue
or maybe its the fear of being abandoned...
(or both)
but my soul feels tortured, hurt and alone.
i know that its not healthy..
its also not of God
.. waiting builds character - builds endurance
and strengthens faith.
but it feels so dark and alone.
i know my heart is being tested.. my heart is being cleaned
and made new.. becoming soft and pliable..
despite how alone and hurt I may feel
i still have p e a c e .
perhaps that is the only thing i have to hold on to
peace - peace in knowing God has a plan
God has a plan! he has a plan for my life..
he has everything worked out
despite my need and desire to work it out myself
It's in his time --- not my time.
(this really been pressed on my heart today)
waiting on God's time..
will bring great reward...
my friend reminded me that good doesn't come without work
so I will wait.
"hope begins in the dark you wait and watch and work.
you don't give up....."
-Anne Lamott
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