four days left.
then I'm North bound...
i'm looking/editing through pictures
mostly from last night
but also from the summer in general.
it just reminds me how time has flown by.
but it hasn't went in vain.

if i were to stay a day longer..
the sweetness, the preciousness of the time would be lost
i was here for a certain amount of time.
and that's it.
who knows if i'll be back..
but i know now my time is done.
its time to go back.
not to go back to what I once was
or how i felt
but time to go back to my family and friends
and to school..... i cannot wait to graduate.
and get on with my life already!

my heart feels different.
I've approached, surrendered and confronted
so many deep things
thing i didn't even know were there
or still there!
i'm sure there is plenty more to come out
but at least this is a start..

When I first got here
Nikki told me she felt like this season
was going to be a rainy season
that parts of my would come alive again
it would be refreshing, renewing
and that old would die and new would come.

now i'm at the back end of my internship and stay
(because lets be real folks, it wasn't just about an internship)
and i can say it has felt like rain
a soaking rain..
to purify, renew and give life.
... i found what it means (again) to live.
what it takes to find the face of God
desperation.
not a "equation" or "secret code"
its simple surrender and desperation.
you cannot get into narnia a secret way or even the same way
(remember lucy couldn't get back in to the wardrobe the same way..)
you have to wait and watch.. and in those moments
within yourself you will know.. its time.
i kind of feel like i've been in narnia truth be told
and i almost feel as though when i go back, it will feel as though
no time has passed.. (of course it has..)

As I step into my new season, new time.
I have absolutely no idea what it will look like
or what is in store for me
but I know I have a place to lay my head
great friends and great family.
.. I'm feeling very blessed.

I am so thankful
so thankful for God's faithfulness
and His goodness..
the love and care he pours through other people
and in the moments within myself I know His love
i'm thankful for so many things.
and i don't deserve any of it.