"All I know is that I love you more than life..."

delight - to give great joy or pleasure to

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives."
Psalm 37:23

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires."
Psalm 37:4

"But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!"
2 Samuel 22:20

"Let my cry come right into your presence, God;
provide me with the insight that comes only from your Word.
Give my request your personal attention,
rescue me on the terms of your promise.
Let praise cascade off my lips;
after all, you've taught me the truth about life!
And let your promises ring from my tongue;
every order you've given is right.
Put your hand out and steady me
since I've chosen to live by your counsel.
I'm homesick, God, for your salvation;
I love it when you show yourself!
Invigorate my soul so I can praise you well,
use your decrees to put iron in my soul.
And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me!
I'll recognize the sound of your voice."
Psalm 119: 169-176

being awaken to thought of God's delight in me is overwhelming
he delights in me!!

new surrender
what does this mean in my life?
I feel like surrender has been a theme in my life for the last 6 months
continually learning to surrender, give up myself, my control
and allow God to work..
to pluck, prick, pull and press my heart
painful at times? yes.
worth it? yes.
I gotta believe its worth it, i know it's worth it...


"my heart and soul, i give You control..."

what a whirl wind week it has been..
good in many, almost every respect
but just a tad chaotic.
i started off my thanksgiving break
by going to see friends in state college
we had fun, ate thanksgiving dinner together,
played in the snow (i boycotted it), and many other things
I also worked a few days while I was in state college too.
so i ended up being there for 5 days

then off to meet my parents in scranton and driving up to NY
stayed in NY for 2 days..
had thanksgiving with the family, it was very nice
then back to my parents apartment near philly
I've been here for almost 4 days..
and tomorrow I'm heading back to Altoona for classes
2 more weeks of classes, then a few projects, finals, etc.

THEN christmas!?!?! crazzy how fast the holidays came this year.

I have a feeling the next couple weeks are going to be crazy
not only busy but stressful...
hopefully they go by quickly and are very productive.

.. thinking about this semester ending makes me sad
because that means i only have one more semester
before my life really drastically changes..
not really in a 'good' or 'bad' way just changes.
i may not be near my friends and family
i will have a job (hopefully..!)
I do know where ever God takes me
will be where I am meant to be..
i'm confident in that..
but i'm sad to see this season of my life pass
it has been quite memorable, exciting, tough
and def learned a lot - not only in school
but about myself, others, and God.

hopefully i graduate!
and hopefully i can find a job too.
or something.. i dunno
what God has up his sleeve

to think of leaving my dear friend stevie makes me very sad
.. it makes me want to just cry honestly.
i'm so thankful for her friendship and our bond that we have
i do know through thick and thing - distance and time
we will remain close, but i would love to live with her
spend my life with her, at least for a little whle
perhaps before we get married ?
it certainly would be nice.. but i'm not sure where God
is gonna put me..
i'm only hopeful and confident because God's ways are higher than mine.

today in church we talked about salvation and our road to it
it caused me to think about how thankful i am for the home i born to
the places i've been able to go and the people i've met
i've truely lived a blessed life..
i'm thankful for every person that i've come in contact with
my parents, friends, sibblings, etc.
they have all helped mold me and transform me into God's image
into a more loving, patient person that hopefully glorifies God

the other thing that i began thinking about today in church was
about peoples personalities, how we see things, react and interact
its such a odd things.. people are all so different.
my friends and i did the myers brigg personality tests
and really got into them, then my family did them as well..
my brother and i are the same personality type (really no surprise to me)
but it got me thinking..

some people are outgoing some aren't
while some people don't mind conflict while others may avoid it
but no matter what our personalities may be
God's love and His way is above all of that..
the way in which he enters our lives and transforms us
helps us become who he wants us to be..
yes our personalities will still stay in tact and
we will still see things differently at times
but it also unifies us and helps us grow

above all God is bigger than any personality
God rarely works in our contexts..
His ways are much higher..
i'm thankful for His way.. and His hand in my life.
what he's up to.. i'm not sure
but as always, i will sit and wait..
praying, hoping, waiting, and knowing God is in control.

my sickness seems to linger, unfortunately..
hopefully it will pass soon.

soooo in the mean time i make the best with what i have
less energy = more sleep
that is always a good thing i suppose.
trying to dig my way through homework
while feeling crappy is always an adventure..
you begin to pick and choose what 'really'
has to be done.. and you for go what might
not absolutely have to get done..
sad but true.

like now, focusing on homework?
ehhh that would be pretty hard.
but i'm going to try to
until of course i can't keep my eyes opened.

"Whether we are reading the Bible for the first time or standing in a field in Israel next to a historian and an archaeologist and a scholar, the Bible meets us where we are. That is what truth does" -Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

sooooo true.

God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
Lamentations 3:22 (the message)

And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.
1 Corinthians 7:17 (the message)

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.
1 Corinthians 7:17 (the new living)

all these verses really hit me where i'm at right now..
God is faithful...
and his mercy is new every morning.
being content, knowing God has me where he wants me
and he will have me exactly where he wants me..
i trust Him, i know that he will lead me and take me
to where i belong.
worrying and fretting would be a waste of time
and under mind His authority
in my life...

I refuse to be like the Israelite in the wilderness
and attempt to 'create' and "make do plan' to rescue myself
to pull what Peter in Prince Caspian did
he decided he needed to take charge and make his own plans
instead of trusting Aslan.. and his plans..
his plans only caused death, hurt, and heartache..

I don't want to make my own plans..
I want God's plans.. i want what he wants.
i will wait, i pray and i wait.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline;
don't sulk under his loving correction.
It's the child he loves that God corrects;
a father's delight is behind all this.
Proverbs 3:5

waiting is in the bible a lot..
people often waited..
it wasn't always instant or when the demanded it
or even asked for it.. kindly or not
they often had to wait.. trust... and believe.
ironic how today we still don't want to wait
yet.. all through out the bible people had to wait
plenty of people were healed instantly things like that
but often God called people to wait..
didn't mean that God was saying no or not listening
he was testing, refining and stirring up their hearts.
my heart... he stirs up my heart in this way.
i'd rather wait and be stirred
than get what i want and learn nothing.

to that end, waiting is exhausting
.. that is why i must surrender.
surrendering what i'm waiting for
knowing that it is better in God's hands
than in my little brain.. or hands.
i am not a child screaming "i want that!"
i must wait.

I wait in hope
for your salvation, God.
Genesis 49:18

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

i was looking forward to this weekend..
and then this morning i woke up sick.
i'm feeling better now.. not great but better.

i had planned on going to a penn state game
(i'm even still packed)
.. i have yet to go to one
sad to say since i'm a senior!
but i think i'm going next saturday
so at least i get to go, its the last home game.
but sad i couldn't go this weekend.
wasn't meant to be i suppose.

hopefully i can get some homework done this weekend
so i have less during thanksgiving break.
i can't believe thanksgiving is already here!
this semester has flown by..
christmas is certainly around the corner.

this has been a really tough semester for me
18 credits, two math classes, lots of homework
just a heavy load.. i'll be glad when its over
and hopefully passing all my classes.

otherwise i'm in trouble.. i want to graduate!

i've been chugging liquids and trying to eat
so hopefully that is helping me feel better.
i woke up dizzy, nauseous, and headache.
i hated missing classes.

soo boring weekend for me.
but next weekend will be good
and thanksgiving break is so soon!

sooo yeah.
i'm excited to use my new camera with the family
get some good shots of everyone.
although my cousins use to use my camera
they won't be able to anymore..
this one is far too nice and expensive!

"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be."
Jeremiah 17:9-10, the message

"For the word of God is living and active.
Sharper than any double-edged sword,
it penetrates even to dividing soul
and spirit, joints and marrow; it
judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
Hebrews 4:12, NIV

"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other,
in step with each other. None of this going off and
doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness.
Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the
run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your
lives. Instruct and direct one another using good
common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God!
Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—
be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God
the Father every step of the way."
Colossians 3:15, the message


I've been thinking a lot about the heart
its the center of who we are..
and that why God must inhibit it all
its complex, dark, and hopeless.
i am given hope by God's love..
just meditating on such things..

lately i've been catching a show on a&e
it's called intervention.. and its about families
who love their 'drug addicts' in their life
and want them to get help.
its amazing to me how dark, low, and hopeless
people go... it breaks my heart.
but it also gives me Hope in God's love
that I know, I know God's love is unfailing.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

as i sit and wait
i am reminded
of the one constant in my life.
God's love..
as i float and sway as humans do
God's love remains the same.

“Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
- C.S Lewis, Weight of Glory

i seem to be reminded of this fact everywhere i turn
and it really has been on my mind for days..
God's love is constant.
meditate on that.

... i think i have viral pink eye.
the issues never end with me :)
and i sort of can't sleep.

its been a eventful night.
sorrow, heartache, joy, and even laughter.
the purpose of something is not always easily seen
but doesn't mean it doesn't exist....
or that it is not powerful.
I trust in God's purpose and His way..
even when I can't see, even when i can't see.

I have an overwhelming sense of freedom and love.
God's love is so indescribable and magnificent.
it washes over me like a healing wave of cool water
it washes away my selfishness, my desire to control,
my pride, and all my other luxuries I hold on to..
God's love covers sin.
s u r r e n d e r . . .
what a amazing Father I serve..
my heart screams, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

we all go through valleys
and climb mountains
i'm so thankful for the people God has given us
and the spirit of Truth he puts in our hearts and souls..
to help us through it all..
He never leaves me or forsakes me.
how can it be, how can it be?


in other news..
i just bought a "new" but used camera
... you have no idea how excited i am !!!
its my christmas present from my grandfather
its a cannon rebel 300D. 6.3 mega pixels.
it was such a good price, and being that it was used
it was the only one available..
if you know me at all, you know i love taking pictures
and capture the joys of life, people, and everything else
I've been wanting a "new" camera for awhile now
so, this year seemed to be the year to do that.
my old one has bright green gaft tape keeping the battery intact
and lets just say it has seen better days, better days indeed.